New Heart 4/27/11

When I first arrived here in Cameroon, the thing I mostly prayed for
was a change of heart. My body was fighting against everything I was
trying to do. I wanted to do the right thing, to love people, to enjoy
teaching and teach well. But my body just wouldn’t have it. I guess I
really didn’t want to do those things; but I knew that I really needed
to do those things. I needed to have God change my will and desires to
match His own for me.
And as with so many other prayers, God has answered. The change inside
of me couldn’t take place overnight. It’s actually still ongoing. It’s
something I have to keep praying for every day, every week, all the
time.
The amazing this is that I actually was presented with the opportunity
to stay here in Cameroon—or at least Africa—for some additional weeks.
Now, in the beginning, it was all I could do to remain here for 10
months. But even 10 months changed to 9 months, and even 9 months
changed to 8.5 months, and miraculously that changed to just 8. God is
so good.
The other week when the Roberts (and family) were here, Gary & I were
talking about life. He said that since I still wasn’t sure about Med
school, I should consider coming to Chad (hard-core country north of
Cameroon) or goind to Buea, Cameroon for 3 weeks after I leave Lassin.
That suggestion kind of hit me in the face hard. I thought, you know,
why not? In fact, I was really thinking that I wanted to stay in
Africa, I wanted to see Buea again, I wanted to go to Chad. I was
thinking, hey! postponing my return flight home really isn’t that bad
of an idea.
Me thinking those thoughts right there was a miracle. God has been
changing me because I keep asking Him to. And I’m so happy for it! I
prayed and fasted about staying here 3 more weeks. And God and I have
come to the conclusion that I’m just going to fly home as planned.
That’s fine. Just knowing that I was willing to stay is exciting for
me.