I'm not worrying!

I am feeling oddly creative on this Sunday morning. For the last year... no, for the last.. I don't even remember the last time I felt creative. You know, I really think it's all the cooking I did today! Feeling down and out? Are you lonely or feeling forgotten?

Well, then bake something!! Whiz something up (not just anything, though) in your blender! Explore the pantry, and make yourself a tasty treat! Actually, I think cooking is actually more beneficial when it is done for someone else, for later, not for instant.. gluttony.

Lately, I've become more acutely aware of my dwindling.. supply?.. of.. haha vocabulary. So, please. Forgive me for the times when I just try way too hard. Forgive me, too, for the times that I think I know you, when I think you, like me, have a dwindling vocab and are trying too hard. I'm sorry for thinking so highly of myself.

I think today may have been the first time that I have felt an at-peace-and-looking-forward to feeling about this next year. Today, even with my brain filled with stressful thoughts like- Oh my goodness, how are you going to even control those little kids? And without raising your voice, too? Are all these skirts that I'm buying too short? This one is just at the knee.. I hope that's okay! I hope I don't scare the children. I hope I'll be able to smile and look pleasant without having to consciously think about it. Will my little sister forget who I am? Does my little sister know who I am now? Haha.. Will hopelessness still be written all over that bums face? Will my family be able to live a year (not even) without me? I can't, can't, CAN'T have a horrible experience like some SMs have had. It's all about attitude, attitude, attitude.

Sorry about the sneak-peek into the mind of Jessica. And, let me tell you, that was nothin'. But today, today I thought to myself- you know, Jess. You really did sign up for this. You're going willingly. Because you want to. So, even if your private little self doesn't really know how to act like it now, just act like you like it when it's actually happening.

I'm taking things as they come. Gotta buy supplies and get packed. So I think about those things. Gotta take the MCAT. Wait a minute right there!! What?!? Yeah, that's what I thought. Not thinkin' about that one for at least 6 months. Or maybe just the flashcards until then. Ha!

As someone reminded me of today, I'm letting tomorrow worry about itself! Matthew 6:25-34.