Growing up as an only child was better than I’ll ever realize. I was (and am) more fortunate than I’ll ever know. Since coming to live and work in Cameroon, I have understood how blessed I really am just a little bit more.
As far as I can remember, I always, always, always wanted siblings. Maybe I didn’t voice that opinion much; but thinking back, I really, really wanted them. People tell me—Oh, Jess! If you’d had siblings, you’d have wished you were an only child. The grass does seem to be ever greener on the other side. One thing I believe siblings would have helped me with was my character. Yeah, that sounds pretty vague haha. More specifically, they would have helped me to share more. I haven’t had to share my things much with anyone—that goes for my room, my food, my mom, everything.
And now I’m in a place that is indescribably generous. They share everything. It’s amazing to me. And it is really difficult for a day to go by without me feeling at least a little bit guilty; most days I’m really embarrassed about my selfish mindset. What’s worse (it’s really not a bad thing… just when it comes to me and my conscience getting along) is that they share even more with me because I am a guest in their country! Almost every day, during long break, someone gives me something more to eat. Two days ago it was a papaya. Last semester, Naphtali (my assistant/translator) and his family (his 2 youngest kids attend the school and his wife works with Carol in class 1) would try to give me yams, fufu, groundnuts (peanuts), palm kernels, coconut, sugar cane, oranges, bananas… SO much! These are things that they brought for their own lunch.
Now Carol and I already bring a pretty a large lunch (comparably)—some sort of bread with peanut butter and/or honey, an orange, a banana, sometimes pineapple/papaya, and trail mix. I am ashamed to say that I rarely share my lunch. Occasionally, I’ll give a piece of pineapple or some raisins or something to someone. If you give to one, though, you may wind up splitting your lunch for one into… 75 or so pieces. Hmm. I’m learning. I’m learning that making sure you have enough to eat for yourself is not so important. Many of the kids don’t bring anything to eat for lunch. Just in the last few weeks, though, we started the Peanutty Protein Project (not really its name..). Some blessed Californian is paying for each child to have a handful of peanuts every school day. We’re hoping that this will help their bloated, nutrient deficient bodies even just a little. People here seem to be used to eating only 2 meals a day, and we’ve had a hard time figuring out where they get certain necessary nutrients (like protein, vitamin C, iodine, etc.).
But, yes, I am learning. The people here are so willing to give. For me to become like them—that just can’t happen overnight. Duh. But… maybe it will actually take more like… 8.5 months, in total. Maybe then there’s some hope for me. I’ve written before of how difficult it is to see change in myself. I mean, I am with me every single day. I won’t know how I’ve changed until the end of this. I hope then I can see that I’ve become more like the people here, that my heart has been growing bigger and bigger.
“… But whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also. It anyone wants to sue you and take away your tunic, let him have your cloak also. And whoever compels you to go one mile, go with him two. Give to him who asks you, and from him who wants to borrow from you do not turn away.” Matthew 5:39-42
“Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in the power of your hand to do so. Do not say to your neighbor, ‘Go, and come back, and tomorrow I will give it,’ when you have it with you.” Proverbs 3:27, 28
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